Friday, July 13, 2012
I have done a very horrible job about updated my blog. I will not even begin to list all my excuses. But I will list one. Just one. Can anyone say summer time? The word should be defined as crazy, busy, fun, and limited to any free time.
I really have been having the best summer I think I have ever had.
I have been doing so many things ,but I will not write about them today , because I do not feel inspired to write about them yet. Instead there is something else that I desire to write about. Two things, but I think they beautifully come together, so in the end I will have written about them both. LOVE when that happens.
Love! It seems to be a heavy topic this time of year. Lots of people in it, many people despise it, some people fear it. Love is funny because it can be a noun or a verb. It can be something you want, something you have, something you do. It can make you incandescently happy or miserably sad. It can be the source of good in your life and the source of evil. It opens doors, yet also breaks hearts. I love love. Everything it entails. I love things, I love people, I love the idea of caring so much about anything that you need a word specifically to describe how you feel about it. I love that it gives people hope. I love that even in the darkest and saddest of times, you at least feel something. People do crazy things when they're in love . There are so many forms of love, and it means many different things to different people, but I want to talk about love in relationships (typical, right?).
Two amazing things have happened to me both around July 4th. I have to smile about them both there is just no way not to. They both are so different that at first I thought they were in no way connected. But then today I found out that they are. Sorry I know you must be dieing to find out what they are. So I will stop rambling and tell you. The first is a beautiful nest. The other is a beautiful friendship.
Humm you see why I thought they were once so different. But let me tell you the story of the nest first.
I am taking care of my Grandmother's garden while she is away. On the first day of water and tending to the plants I watched as a bird flew out of the a planter and landed on a near by bush.
"I wonder what that silly bird is doing in the planter in the first place."
I thought well maybe she has a nest! Indeed she had a nest. With 4 beautiful little brown spotted eggs inside. I get excited very easily so as you can picture this with me please by all means smile. I jumped up and down waving my hands in the air and I'm sure I was screaming all the way inside. Where my Grandpa was. For some reason I thought that he was not aware of my joy. (He had been watching out his window the whole time) But he was very much aware of the joy the little eggs in the nest brought me. Although he smiled it seemed to me that he was not as thrilled as I was. He even had a very Grandfather moment and reminded me that the birds may not hatch and that I have to be ok with that if it happens. I don't think I really was listening to him or maybe I was but I was not willing to believe what he was saying. In my mind my little egg friends would hatch and I would soon have little bird friends.
And as I had hoped the did hatch! Two days later I went out to see the nest and a little cute (ok ugly) baby bird sat inside it. Just one. I was kinda sad when I thought that this little baby may be the only one that was gonna fill the nest. But the very next day the other 3 cute-ugly baby birds hatched. Every day I have gone out to look at them and admire them. I know that you are not to touch them, and so I don't. But I do stand close and smile at them. The first few days they just sat there not really doing anything at all. But yesterday when I looked at them they were all so big. They all 4 opened their mouth like I was their mommy bringing them food. And they sure are getting cute as the days pass. I know that one day I will go out there and I will find my nest empty and I think that part of me will be sad. But part of me will smile at the fact that the birds are some where out in this world living, flying around with the little wings I have watched grow. Someday they will build a little nest of their own and they will start all over. I know that the love I have for the birds are not the same kind of love I have for a friend or family member , but I think it is still a love feeling. A feeling of hope. These birds have shown me that as each day passes things change, you can do anything about the fact that somethings will be out of your control. But like I have done with my birds you can do with many things in life. You can smile at the things that make you smile and jump up and down at the things at make you that happy. Hope, happiness, love,and little Joy are the names of my little feather friends.
So now is the other thing that I feel inspired to write about. Around the same time the birds were discover so was a friendship. I meant this guy, and like finding the nest and the eggs that is what I felt like. I felt like there could be hope for a friendship. I was more willing to think there was then to think there was not going to be a friendship at all. But I still had no idea if anything would happen. So I waited. And waited... and lastly waited some more. And then things started to happen. Slowly kinda like finding my hatched egg but only finding a little bird laying there not really doing anything. Which is fine. It is by all means good for me to wait. But the more me and this guy talked and e-mailed each other the more I wanted to wake up the next day just so I could see what was gonna happen . I found that he made me smile more then I thought anyone could make me. I laughed and giggled like a girl watching a romantic movie. :) I want nothing more then to make this new friend of mine smile as much as I do. I want to make his life as happy as it can be. I want to hear all the stories he will tell me. I want to just hear all he has to say, and ask him 100's of questions. I desire to know all.
But like the birds I can't do anything about anything, and honestly I don't want to. I want to just stand close and smile at the things I can smile at, and I want to be honest and open and I want to watch as things change and hopefully bloom into something beautiful and special.