On Saturday I was able to be part of a beautiful wedding. The wedding was wonderful. I guess that is what you get when you watch two people being joined together in marriage. Two people that love God and are willing to commit their marriage to God. It is beautiful.
Well after the wedding I started thinking about how God has called me his Bride. Well in all honestly I think the wedding got me thinking about how some day I would love to find the man God has for me. A man that will love me everyday no matter what I can give to him. I guess I was thinking about love. But on my ride home I got the feeling that I was very much loved in a special way already more then I could every be loved by any man. God has called me his bride.
It is a humbling feeling to know that God loves you no matter what you do or say. My human response went something like this. Many tears, repentance on my part,and then my bright idea which was live a better life.
So that night I decided that I was going to live a better life. Funny right? I guess I just wanted to feel like I should deserve the love God has for me. So that night I really focuses on reading my bible and praying. Then the next day I woke up and headed to work. Things where going great until I got stuck behind a slow driver. Then I BLEW it. I totally lost my kindness and did not handle it in the way that I should have. Worthlessness, Shame, the power of sin. Those are the feeling that could have flooded my mind. Right? I mean here I was not ever 24 hours in to trying to give God what he deserves and I was failing. Why should I be able to feel worth something? How could God love someone that could not give him anything in return?
God loves me so much! Yes he is not happy with sin. But those feeling I feel when I fail God have no right being part of my life. They were put to death when Christ died for my sins on the cross. God is God and I am his Bride, on my worse day God loves me the same as he did on my best day. Maybe I am still learning his. I know I am. It may be hard to understand how God could love me or you for better or for worse. That he knows what is best for you. Fatem that I tell myself. Think about that when you feel alone or scared. I am Gods bride clothed in white because of what Christ did I get to wear white instead of what the color of sin is.
"Nothing can separate us from the Love of Christ."