Josh Turner "I am second"

I came across a blog that had a posting of Josh Turner on it. I was so encouraged after reading it I thought it was a grand idea to write one myself. I have always liked his music , but now I can enjoy it even more. Praising God for yet another man who is out there that is not afraid to love God. For a man who stands up for what he believes. (More of this interview can be read on www.JoshTurnerIamsecond.com )

I had a vision of this long, black shiny train…..

Singing country music, that’s what I’ve always dreamed of doing as a young boy. Growing up in South Carolina, it was out the ordinary to dream such a dream.

I haven’t always been the guy that walks into a room and automatically the attention is on me. I’m normally the guy that stands off in the corner. Singing allowed me to express myself in ways that I wouldn’t be able to do otherwise. I don’t feel like God called me to be a gospel singer. He didn’t call me to be a Christian singer, he called me to be a country singer, and I just happen to be a Christian.

The one thing that I had to overcome was negativity. The idea that dreams can’t really come true, I never wanted to believe in that.

I grew up in a little place called Hannah, South Carolina, a little farming community a long way from any kind of big city. The first real album I owned was Randy Travis’ Storms of Life, and that was the album that really made me start dreaming of the possibility of doing this for a living. I moved to Nashville in 1998 to get a record deal and try to get my foot in the door, and I didn’t really know what I was doing.

God inspired me to write “Long Black Train.” I wrote this song, by myself, in my apartment, and it came to me in a vision. It’s a vision of this long, black, beautiful, shiny train, and people are standing out to the sides of the track, watching this train go by, just craving to get on it. At the same time, they know that this train leads to destruction, it leads to emptiness, it leads to nowhere, but yet they still want to get on it. This train was a physical metaphor for temptation.

I wrote three verses and a chorus that night in my apartment, woke up the next morning, I wrote the fourth verse. And at that moment in time when I laid the pen down, I said nobody’s ever gonna want to hear this. It’s too old-fashioned, it’s too old-timey, it’s a gospel song. So this is probably not going to end up on one of my records in the future.

And a friend of mine walked in and she said, can I hear it? And I was like well, sure. I played it for her, and she said you need to play this for such and such, and so it just snowballed from there. I ended up playing it for recitals, and all kinds of stuff, did demos of it. A girl in my class heard it on that demo, played it for MCA, they heard it. This was the song I played first time on the Grand Ole Opry, and got two standing ovations and an encore– I was completely unknown to the audience that night. It became the title track of my first record, it became my first hit, it helped me sell a million copies of the first record. So there were a lot of people hearing this song, a lot of people being touched by this song.

That was the moment that I realized it’s not about the money, or the fame, or the glory. It’s about changing people, it’s about touching people and influencing people in a positive way, and so from that point on, that’s what I’ve tried to do.

(There’s a long, black train coming down the line, feeding off the souls that are lost and crying. Rails of sin, only evil remains, watch out brother for that long, black train. )

There’s no song that I can write, there’s no record that I can make that’s going to save me. I do need a savior.

(Look to the heavens, you can look to the skies, you can find redemption staring back into your eyes. There is protection, and there’s peace the same, burning your ticket for that long, black train.)

I’m thankful to have Jesus as my savior. My relationship with God has always been one to where I’m talking to him all day, every day, about anything and everything. It’s just a continuous ongoing conversation that I have with the Lord, and I feel like that’s brought me closer to Him. It helps me think through things clearly, I feel like it’s given me wisdom about other people, about myself, about the life that I live. Ultimately, I get my joy from Him, and always put Him first.

My name is Josh Turner, and I am second.

Listen for the stones to drop

So you know those times when you read the Bible and say nothing afterward?
Then you read the same thing 3 months later,and say "Wow that is a good message." But you never put it to use in your life. It forever remains only a good message.
Then you hear someone talking about the same verse and what they way makes you say, "This is so true.. Wow I never though of that.. I will remember that one!!" (But come on I give you one full week, two at tops and it is GONE.)
Then one night we read the same verses, and we start crying ,and thinking of all these things that we never thought of before. I call that the 2 by 4. Sometimes it is more painful then other times. But both are caused by us missing or choosing not to see what God was showing us the first time. All the pain we cause ourselves. (Silly sinners)
Well I will tell you my story of the 2 by 4 that just hit me aside my head. I did all the things that I listed above in that order even. The verses were John 8:1-11
It has always been one of my favorite stories in the Bible. But I never really took the time to study and pray about it. When God was opening the door for me to learn about it I was slamming it back in his face. But tonight God showed me it and for once I listened to him.

One of my friends and I were talking about her abuse(Sexual abuse) and how she was afraid that people would judge her if they knew. Although I wanted to tell her the nice comforting lie of

"No one will judge you." I couldn't do it.
Like I said it would be a lie. As we talked I listened to her share with me some lies she believed about the abuse. I watched her try her hardest to avoid there being anything to talk about.
There was the desire to cover it up like it was nothing.
There was the shame that she felt.
There was the desire in her heart to hide it from me and anyone else.
There was the desire to just tell someone and get it over with.
As I tried to comfort her and tell her the truth to those lies. I felt that her and me shared something. But it was more then that.
Oh could it be!!!?? that the verses that I had been pushing away had yet another lady that shared something else with us?

The Woman that was caught in adultery.
The picture of that story was the picture of ME. It was the picture of my friend too.
This woman was caught in the act of adultery. That is a little more then just her flirting. To me it means that is is not wearing anything ,or she is barely wearing anything.
Jesus is teaching in the temple. When all of a sudden the scribes and the Pharisees burst in.
(I'm trying to paint a picture for you.) So with them I imagine is a group of people.. They tell him everything that this women did. Then they remind Jesus that Mosses wrote that she should be stoned. "What do you say?'' they asked him. Nothing more was said. Jesus stooped down and started writing on the ground. Meanwhile what is everyone else doing? What is the woman doing? I never thought about this before. But this really happened , and they were still there so what were they doing? I think the people that were gathered around the women were looking at her with judgement and disgust. I think they shook their heads in anger. I think with one hand they held the woman making sure she knew that she was about to be punished. And with their other hand I think it was tightly gripping the stone in which they intended to punish her with. The stone in which they would kill her with.
The woman, what do I think she was doing? I think she was scared. I think that was felt her sin. I think that felt her sin, and knew what it looked like. I think while all the people stood around her and casted their stares at her she could see very clearly what she looked liked ,and what she was.

Then Jesus spoke, "He that is without sin among you, let him first cast the stone at her."
Then once more He stooped down and wrote on the ground.
Silence filled the temple. Then the sound of the rocks hitting the ground. Then the woman felt the painful tight grips of the men that held her no more. Nothing but the foot steps of the people leaving could be herd. The woman watched as those who accused her left.
Did she feel freedom?
No, I think she was still scared. She had heard about Jesus. Wasn't he the son of God? Wasn't he the great teacher? Surly he would look up at her and see her and judge her? Kill her? Didn't she deserve it? Didn't she sin?
Jesus stood up and looked at her." Woman," the same name he called his own mother. Woman... Not whore, not unclean.
"Woman, where are those thine accusers? Hath no man condemned thee?"
She whispered out "No man, Lord"
"Neither do I condemn thee: Go ,and sin no more."

Even though I was not caught in the act of sin neither my friend. We all three have been right where the woman was. I was her.. I was there only I begged please stone me...
But just as Jesus did with the Woman he did with me. He waited until everyone that accused me were gone. He and me were the only ones standing. Well I was on my face before him.
Then he said where is everyone? I looked around and I was free no one was there to judge me. I was clean. How did I get this clean! Then he said it is me that make you clean. Your judgement is gone because I stepped in front of you. The Father looks at me and sees me instead of you. I paid your price. Go and sin no more.

I think that it is beautiful how he waited until everyone else left. It was just him and her there. Because no matter what it is people judge us. But their judgement doesn't matter, Jesus's does. Jesus paid our price on the cross. So where ever you are today listen to the stones dropping around you ,watch as everyone walks away. And look up at Jesus and thank him. Don't be the one that is judging yourself either. Go and sin no more. Make the choice today to change. Jesus was enough for your sin once he forgives you , you are free to let the sin and the same go too.

Don't believe them!!!

I want to share with anyone who is going to read this a very important message. Mostly this is for girls and women, but hey it could fit just as well in a mans life too. What I'm going to say is a very simple fact -challenge, yet hardly anyone will be able to do it. Want to know what it is????
It is this.
Stop believing the lies that the world are telling you. I know it is hard in to today's world to figure out that almost everyone and thing around you wants to see you as less. It's hard when all your friends and the T.V tells you that you are not allowed to enjoy yourself.
I'm not talking about a be free, have fun, get drunk ,do drugs thing. I'm just a young lady who is tired of people going on diets and looking into the mirror and saying mean things about themselves. I'm tired of watching young people think they are less then they really are because they are not married. It's....... it's just silly. And trust me I know what I'm writing about because I do it too. We have all these people and things that expect us to be something that we are really not suppose to be. When God made us he did not want us to listen to "Glamor Girl." He had his own idea of what beauty and happiness looks like. But I don't even know if we know what his idea looks like anymore thanks to lies!!
Teens don't have sit at home and fry their brains with movies and Video games. They don't have to have the world think that the only thing they are good at is getting into trouble. I mean when the only thing your mommy and daddy expects you to do at 17 is make your bed that is sad. Horrible.
But yet we are not willing to show them that we can handle more then that.
So maybe your not lazy maybe you can handle making your bed ,and cleaning the house and make bread.
But are you the type of person who is never happy with yourself? When someone goes to take a picture do you turn away? Every morning do you look in the mirror and say how ugly you are? Does none of your clothes fit right? Do you think makeup makes you prettier? Do you think that acting a certain way will make you someone better?
I say yes to some of these. I live believing so many lies too. But why for what reason, tell me what does thinking you look fat bring you? Do you really want to be lazy everyday? Do you want to be the type of person that only will be happy when you are married? Or maybe only can really enjoy life when you have this job and this bill paid off? I'll answer for you.... NO NO NO!! No you want to learn to love what God has made you look like. You want to be helpful and busy. You want to be thankful ,and honestly happy right where you are now. I know I do.
Tonight I am doing laundry at 10 pm. I am blogging and I love it. I love that right now I can be honestly happy. Sure I want to be married and I have dreams other then these things, but that is not stopping me from being useful and happy right where I am.
Be who you really are. Maybe you need to change some things. But I'm sure when God created you he made somethings good in you... Just a thought.
So be challenged this week. Do what is good. Like what you look like. Laugh at who you are. Enjoy where you are.
For one week I challenge you to not think about being somewhere different or someone different. I challenge you to stop believing the lies!!

1st Birthday....baby boy

One year ago I received a call from my sister telling me that she was in labor. I knew that I should be expecting a call,but no words can describe just what was going on inside my mind. Fear and excitement. First of all she is my sister so it comes natural to me to worry for her health and the babies.Then there was the fact that I was one of her Midwives so it now became my job.....God blessed me that day. In so many ways he blessed so many others too.Being able to see the birth of my nephew was amazing, the whole birth was moving. He was a healthy little boy. So small and fragile. I prayed that the Lord would make him into a mighty man. A God fearing man someday. That no matter where he was that the Lord would protect him.
I have watched him grow over this last year. I watched as he started to crawl then walk. I heard him start to talk and laugh. I have come to love him with all my heart. And today I was able to celebrate his First Birthday with him. It was amazing. I love that little baby and he will always have a special place in my heart.
~ Happy Birthday Baby boy!!!

A well rounded me..

I know that it's past the 1st of the year, so to many it is to late to make changes ,or goals for the year 2012. But I stand from a view that at any point you can make changes. And at any point you can ask GOD to give you wisdom in what needs to be changed. I did just that this week. I asked God not only what he wants me to be doing today, but what areas I need to work on. I'm almost 19 years old, I'm done with school, I'm single, and I do not have a job that demands me to be gone for hours and hours. Sooo..... now would be the perfect time to enhance some skills, learn some more, practice things that I haven't been able to do in a while. Just because I could have lots and lots of free time doesn't mean that I should be able to spend it in a useless way. I want to make changes in my life. Changes that will affect me for the rest of my life. After I got done praying, asking God to tell me what I need to be doing. I thought about some things. People almost always make new year goals that never get reached ,and the ones that people do accomplish are goals that only will bring short time changes. I don't want to do that. If I'm going to change in an area in my life ,and if it is going to be hard work for me to do. I want it to be on something that will still matter when 2013 or 2014 comes.Something more then losing a few pounds or visiting the ocean. I want it to change me forever, making me a well rounded person.
So I made a list. Some of the stuff on there are skills that I want to learn while others are some things I know already know, but that I want to make more time for. For example,

• I want to learn wood work.
• I want to practice my piano more than once a week.
  
• I want to play with my little siblings. I want to make time for them.
  

The list is much longer. I just wanted to give an example.My goals for this year are things I think will make me into a better person. A more skilled lady. I want to be ready for whenever God tells me to do a job.I want to know more then the average teen knows. I want to make myself into a WELL ROUNDED ME!!
,In him I live and write

Family

In his arms

I feel sick right now. Not from a cold or a flu. But from sin. I'm sorry if this post makes people upset. Or makes them roll their eyes or feel uncomfortable. I'm sorry if you feel disappointed with me after you read this. The truth is I'm bound to hit one of those feelings with someone. I do have many friends that do not live are believe the way I do. I have family that are way different than me. But at some point I think everyone has felt the same way. I think everyone has felt pain.No matter how many walls you have built around your heart or how tough you claim to be everyone on this earth felt it at one point or even still feels it as I type.
Well I'm at that spot right now to write this. The place where my heart literally is in pain. I'm doubting myself right now. I'm wondering if I should write this in the morning because my eyes are burning and swollen from crying. I will write this tonight. If not for anyone else for ME. For me to fully understand SIN. I was on the other side of this post a few months ago. I was the very one I am writing about. I was the one that caused others to feel sick and have burning eyes. I was the one that had TRUE friends say "I love you." I was the one that spit on them and their words, and I was the one that said God leave me the hell alone stop messing up my life. Yes, I said Hell. Those were MY words to God.
So here I am. Here I am being spit on by someone I would lay my life down for. Someone that has been in my prayers almost every night for years. Someone that I have never really been BEST friends with, but I have watched her as she cried because her parents shipped her off to a school. I was there the day she bought a pregnancy test. I was there to see her young face show fear. To be honest I was even with her in the bathroom as she took it. I was there and watched her fight with people as she decided what to do now. I was there when she told me her boyfriend and her split up. I was there when she decided that when her baby was born she would let it be adopted to a better home. I was with her by her side for 9 months as her belly grew and her baby started to grow. I was in the same room with her as she heard the babies heartbeat. I was the one that wiped her tears off her face for her when the nurse said it was a girl.... I was with her as she went into labor. My hand was her stress relief. I was there as she handed her newborn beautiful baby girl into the hands of a wonderful couple that would take her miles and miles away...... And sadly I was the one that saw it break her heart. I was the one that seen her run as far as she could. I watched her cover her pain up with a marriage. I watched her husband treat her like dirt. I watched her fall and fall away from God. I watched her make God nothing but an old man in the sky for her and her life. Now I'm watching her divorcing. Now I'm watching her suffer more pain. Now I'm bagging for her to move back so that I can hold her hand once more and be the one to wipe her tears off her face. And God is telling me no. God is telling me that it won't help. That hurts, I love her I want to tell her even if it is a lie that everything will be ok. At first when I remembered all I was there with her for I wonder why God had shown me it. But now I know that God was there for all the parts that I was and the parts that I wasn't. He loves her more than I could ever love her. And he hates all that is going on. I can't help but say that this amount of pain I feel is tiny compared to what God feels...
God is showing me and reminding me of my very life and where it was that I was at not to long ago. I had people that loved me. I even had people that told me it was all going to be ok. It did nothing. I needed to be able to go to God and let him do that. I needed to wake up and repent and run to him. When I did do that really really and honestly trust only God with my life. All my tears were wiped away. All the pain I felt, the uncertainty I lived with daily were gone. It wasn't magic it was the power of God. When I came to him that day it was like nothing I had ever felt before . It was like all I felt was his huge hug. I didn't feel shame. I didn't feel scared. I felt the love of God around me. No way was there a worry in my life that day. I had made it back home to him. Right were his girl needs to be. So tightly wrapped up in his arms that nothing can harm me. Not even myself.
It was a long hard lesson that I had to learn before I figured that was what God wanted and what I needed. I had grown up without trust. I was hurt and not ever protect as a child. And so when I meant God sure I loved him and read the bible. But I was always waiting for that sin that would make him hate me. I was always worrying about things because surly if God was in control he would mess it all up. Never was his love enough for me. I was looking in every place possible for love and affection. So I went on a little ride to hell,as I like to say. It hurt me so much do be on my own, kicking God out of my life day after day. Thinking that I was better at life them him.
So as I watch my friend do the same and suffer the same I am sickened. I knew that God allowed me to go through all I have been through to teach me and better my relationship with him. But now I see that in fact it was so I could always be reminded that Sin is horrid. My friend is not the only one that suffers from it. So many people do. Oh that's right we all do. So every time I see the old Brandie come out in others I should be remind to pray. I should be the one that doesn't judge but tells them that God wants them to be in his arms. I should tell them that God is what they need. As I feel this pain for her. I am remind how much it hurts God too. He created her and her heart. He desires her love and look at it.
A year or so ago I wrote this letter for this same friend. I never did find the perfect time to give it to her until now. Funny how God allowed me to write it to her then. But is telling me to give it to her now. I would like to share it with you too.
To ......
I have a love of my life. No one but me truly understands how much I love her. How much I want her all to myself. But most of the time she forgets all about me. She lives her life like we've never even meant. If you were to see her you might not even know that we have shared a love deeper than most. Sometimes she'll go weeks or even months without talking to me. I try to bring up conversation, and I always let her know how special she is to me.....
But I can tell she is moving on. That I'm not enough for her. I can see she thinks that there is someone else out there for her that will love her more than I do. I tried telling her that her"new lover'' won't love her. That he won't look out for her in ways that I do. She doesn't understand that I really care about HER. I love her not because she can make me happy, or that she has something I would like. I love her unconditionally. She cries at night because no one is there for her. She talks to her friends about how she wants someone .. anyone to love her. All this time she does it in front of me like I can't hear her or see her. She does it like I don't what that from her. She wants a prince to rescue her but she chooses not to look at me. If she would just look at me once.... Truly look at me then she would see that my arms have been waiting wide open for her since she left. But she never sees that. She can't see the tears I have cried for her. She can't see my heart being torn apart, because instead of running to me she's running away. She's running into the arms of a sinner,a lair,and a man who will show her no respect. A man who will not love her like I do. I want her to be loved and protected. She refuses to think I know how to do that. She thinks she is the best judge of who that is.
Many people say to give up. She wants me to stop loving her. But as long as she runs I will still love her the same. Every day I have my arms waiting for her. So that when she wakes up and sees that she has forgotten her first love she will turn and see my open arms. I'm so really to hold her once more. I want nothing more but to wipe her tears away and all the filth she feels away with it. Oh how I miss my dear one...